Posted March 06, 2013

Wacky Bracket 2013: The Inaugural Edition

NCAA Tournament
Where will a Nerlens Noel-less Kentucky end up in One and One's first wacky bracket? (Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

Where will a Nerlens Noel-less Kentucky end up in One and One’s first wacky bracket? (Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

What-ifs are a huge part of what makes the NCAA tournament selection process so intriguing. The committee has to account for so many blips in performance due to injury, suspension, transfers, home/road disparity, scheduling, etc. as fans do their best to educate the media as to why their team should be granted exceptions for poor performances. “Just take out Game X and Y and we’re a lock,” they cry. “We beat Team Z by 25!”

OK, fine. Have it your way. Your team now gets to exhibit only its top characteristics in its quest for bracket seeding, and every team lands the most favorable regional location available. The one hitch? Every other team gets the same benefit. Welcome to the Wacky Bracket, where no small-conference champ upsets anyone because every big team is at their best. Here’s what the Round of 32 looks like.

MIDWEST (Indianapolis) EAST (Washington, D.C.)
1. “Last Year or Next Year” Kentucky 1. November Duke
8. “Better Luck vs. Kansas” Iowa State 8. “Different Class Schedule” Harvard
5. “Making 3s” Illinois 5. Wells Fargo Center Villanova
4. Overtime Notre Dame 4. Buzzer-Beater Butler
6. C-USA-Only Memphis 6. “No Trash Cans” Kansas State
3. “Good Appling” Michigan State 3. “Forcing Turnovers” VCU
7. Wells/Lyons Xavier 7. Postseason-Eligible UConn
2. “Avoided Gulfs and Pacific Islands” Miami 2. “Post-Whittington” Georgetown
WEST (Los Angeles) SOUTH (Arlington)
1. Healthy Louisville 1. “Not In A Close Game” Florida
8. Non-conference Minnesota 8. “Post-Monty Shove” California
5. “Secondary scorer shows up” Ohio State 5. Home Arkansas
4. “Better Conference” Gonzaga 4. Home Missouri
6. “T.J. McConnell-eligible” Arizona 6. “More disciplined” UNLV
3. “Making Jumpers” Syracuse 3. “Steady point guard” Kansas
7. “Since Josh Smith” UCLA 7. “Non-CAA” Virginia
2. “This Resume in Another League” New Mexico 2. “Hitting on all cylinders” Michigan

Who do you think would make the Final Four in Atlanta? Which no-flaw teams did we leave out? Get the discussion started by tweeting at @AndyGlockner or @SI_NCAABB.

1 comments
BadIdea22
BadIdea22

I don't understand how a "best characteristic" (in this instance Kentucky) can include a team from the year prior or next years team? Hey Kentucky, the best characteristic of your team this year is. . . wait for it. . . not your team! Excellent idea. Another winner? "Hitting on all cylinders" Michigan. Am I to assume that these other teams greatest strengths/characteristics do not include "[h]itting on all cylinders"? Isn't that the crux of the problem you are trying to imagine being fixed through this wacky bracket? Hence the terrible road teams that you give, "Home" ______ designations to. This is truly a terrible idea for a column. 

Side note: Fix the capitalization errors in your "wacky" team names.